Always and Forever
by anonymousXandrogynous
Summary: each character's death in turn, their last thoughts, feelings and words. perhaps lightly implied pairings but nothing concrete.
1. Chapter 1

**a/n: I was feeling angsty a few nights ago and I wrote this and several other chapters. Basically its each character's thoughts/actions right before they die in the series. So that's pretty much the whole thing, each ones going to be fairly short I think, so I hope you enjoy! BETA'ED BY THE LOVELY SKYWARDSHADOW 3**

**Matt's up first (sorry Mattie T-T)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or any affiliated characters.**

I stepped out of my Camaro, gloved hands in the air and a cigarette dangling from between my lips. I rolled my shoulders back, making one pop in a satisfactory way before beginning to speak.

I knew my words were lies; they were going to shoot me the first chance they got. It'd been a fact from the moment I shot that smoke flare out of the car window.

Oh well; I'd let Mello pull me into this and it wasn't his fault, really. What can I say? It sounded like a better time than sitting around not doing shit, and I'm a thrill junkie. Sue me. I didn't really think I'd pay for it with my life but whatever, I'd say it was worth it. If I got to help Mels and have a helluva good time doing it, why not?

Maybe it sounds like I didn't give a fuck about my life or what happened but honestly, up till that point there really hadn't been much for me to live for. And yeah, maybe I was an idiot for agreeing to it, but I didn't regret it. Besides, this was a totally badass way to go, yanno? An epic car chase ending in blood- too bad it was probably gonna be mine. Ah well.

Fuck, bullets hurt! What the fuck! _Damn_, that fucking hurts!

For a minute I was falling, bullets still ripping right through me, and it wasn't until I hit the pavement that they stopped firing. I lay there, staring down at my chest, which was now riddled with holes. It's kinda weird, watching yourself bleed to death like that. I made that observation halfheartedly, not really caring at that point.

I let my head lean back and hit the cold metal of my car and for a minute I just stared up at the sky, watching the stars as I take my last breaths. Fuck, that sounds sappy.

I'm not an idiot, despite what you might be thinking right now. I wanted- no, _needed_ to do it. Mello had given me something to live for, even if it was just for a few weeks. I wouldn't have had it any other way 'cause if he hadn't roped me into his mess, I'd still be sitting around on my lazy ass doing nothing. At least this way I died for something, something important; even if I didn't play a big part, I helped and was useful. That was a first for me.

So you see? I needed this, and Mello gave it to me. I just hoped he wouldn't freak out too much; it wasn't like I was important. I knew he was watching me right then, but he was somewhere far away, which was good. He was the only one that had ever really bothered to know me, and for that, I would do anything for him. I had done what he needed me to, I'd been at least semi-helpful in his quest. That was all he wanted, and that was all I needed. I could rest easy because I had played my part.

_Thanks, Mels._

Heh…I was going now; the stars were dimming and it sure as hell wasn't 'cause it was getting darker. Well, it _was_ getting darker. But only for me. The cigarette fell from between my lips and onto the ground where its small flame was extinguished for good. I was just like that cigarette right then, about to go out forever.

Oh well. I'd had fun, I guess you could say, and that was all I'd ever really wanted.

"S-see you there, M-Mello, and t-thanks for the m-memories…It was w-worth it."

Rest in peace: Mail Jeevas

**thought's? i'd love to hear from you ^_^**

**Mello's up next...**


	2. Chapter 2

**a/n: I completely forgot I had started this story, oopsie ^^' well, for anyone who's reading this, here's the update! Mello's turn...**

**disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or any affiliated characters.**

I glanced at the small screen attached to the dashboard of my stolen delivery truck, watching intently as the red Camero on the screen screeched to a halt to avoid colliding with a line of black shiny cars. Damn, this wasn't looking good…but Matt would get out of it. He always had a knack for slipping away without a scratch. I prayed softly he'd be able to pull it off again tonight.

I remained silent, the tension seeming to drown me as I watched the car door swing open smoothly and a redhead step out with his hands up. I saw the guns all align to point at him.

My breath hitched. A smooth smirk graced Matt's lips for a moment and then he was speaking:

"Listen, I'm connected to Takeda's kidnapping so-"

_No, no, no, NO! Dammit, Matt, stop talking! Stop it now before-!_ My prayers weren't going to be answered tonight.

It was almost as if I was taking every bullet right along with him as I watched; if I hadn't been gripping the steering wheel so hard my hands would have been shaking. There I sat, helpless to save him, miles away from him, he was alone…And then his body hit the pavement. Holes riddled Matt's chest, red already beginning to seep through the fabric. He lay there with his back to the side of his beloved car which, just like him, was now filled with holes.

I couldn't look any longer.

Matt was dead; I wasn't even going to try and deny it. He'd lost it all, because of me.

I swerved the truck off to the side and down a gravel driveway, into a churchyard. I shut off the car and leaned my head back, shutting my eyes tightly.

"Matt…I never thought you'd be killed…please, forgive me," I breathed, trying desperately to fight the tears that were building at the corners of my eyes.

Let me tell you something: I'd never said sorry, to anybody. Ever. But Matt truly deserved it; he had paid the ultimate price for me. Thinking back, I wished I would have never dragged him into this, but I did and he's dead. Life's a bitch sometimes, or maybe it's death. I didn't know anymore. All I knew was that Matt was dead in the street miles away and I was here and I wished that it was the other way around. That he sat here, safe and sound, while I lay dying alone somewhere, because I deserved it a thousand times more than he did.

Like I said, my prayers weren't going to be answered tonight.

There was one thing that nagged at my mind as I sat there, numb to everything around me: I never told him. Never said to his face how much he meant to me, how much I loved him and now, he'd never know.

Those thoughts almost killed me. Almost. But as much as I wanted to raise my gun to my head and shoot myself right there and then, I couldn't. I had to finish this, for Matt and for myself. And besides, he would have said that by killing myself I was taking the easy way out, and that wasn't a fitting way for me to go. I knew he would have been disappointed.

So I didn't do it, for his sake; I owed him that much. With that I turned on the engine on again-and stopped because suddenly it hurt.

A tight kind of pain shot through my chest. At first I thought I'd been shot, but there was no wound; then I thought I was going into shock from Matt's death.

It hit me like a ton of bricks in the next second-I was having a heart attack. I was going to die.

I slumped forward in my seat, a choking sound escaping my throat with the movement. I took my final breaths as my vision darkened.

"I'm so-sorry Matt, b-but I'm coming now, and I-I love you Matt…"

Rest in peace: Miheal Keehl.

**aww, sadness. Next up, L or Light... which one should I do? reviews? :3**


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